Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Email sent to Carla, our church secretary, on May 15, 2012

Hi Carla!

I hope this email finds you doing well.  I'm coming to you for some direction on an idea that I have regarding fundraising for my next trip to Africa. 

I already have people wanting to make monetary contributions towards my next trip to Kenya at the end of this year.  The idea that I have is, if these people make the checks payable to me, they don't get an tax advantages because I am not a non-profit organization.  Could and would First Lutheran Church be able to or interested in accepting these donations on my behalf?  A couple of reasons for this question...first, any people that contribute would have a taxable deduction at tax time.  Secondly, the company I work for will match any associate donations 2:1.  For example, if I contribute $1 to a non-profit organization, they will send an additional $2. 

Do you know the answers to these questions or is there someone that I can ask/meet with?  Any help you can provide would be beneficial!

Thank you,

Jordan Bremerman


Response from Mrs. Moczygemba, Treasurer of the Church Council

Jordan,
  Please let me know if you get this e-mail.  I sent you an e-mail last week, but may not have sent it to the right address.
The Council of FLC would be glad to help you with your next trip to Keyna.  We have a fund set up for anyone who
would like to make donations.  Anyone can send a check to the Church and just put a designation on the check that
it is for your trip to Africa. We would cut you a check shortly before you leave on your trip.  We are all extremely proud
of you and your willingness to spread God's word to the far corners of the earth!! In fact, I am somewhat jealous that you
have caught the meaning of discipleship at such a young age.  It has taken me a life time to learn what your already know!!
Keep in touch and all the best.  Patty Moczygemba

The Aftershocks

Wednesday will mark the one month anniversary since I've returned from Tumaini. Forgive me if I've already shared this information, but while I was there, I was informed that the small boy, Isaac, that captured my heart last year, had run away from Tumaini. It had been 5 months that he had been gone.

I was so upset that everyone acted like it was no big deal. Mum and Paul, the manager, seemed like there was nothing they could do and really didn't want to talk about it. They focused their time on the children that remained at the home. I on the other hand, didn't understand why they hadn't gone to get him, why they'd let a boy, 14 years old (but looked like he was 10) live on the streets by himself, that they would let this child of God be disposable like so many other children are in Africa. I was more than bothered by it and found myself crying and trying to take matters into my own hands. Here is the journal entry from that night:

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

What a wonderful surprise! James came back today. He walked into Mum’s house about dinner time. He came in with his sweater on and his hood on his head. After looking at him for about 3 seconds, I jumped up and gave him a huge hug. He said that he had missed me so much. It was so good to see him. We only have 2 ½ days left here and we are going to make the most of it!

He says tomorrow we are going to share stories with one another. I’ve missed him so much. I asked about Isaac and he told me that he wants money and didn’t want to go to school- that’s why he’s still on the streets. David Kariuki told me that he wished to take me to the streets to see Isaac because he talked a lot about me. I don’t know how I’d be able to handle that. It breaks my heart just to think about the condition he might be in. Then, selfishly, what if when I walk up, he doesn’t recognize me because he is high? I wrote to David and told him that I wished to go look for Isaac if he is willing to take me. I’ll pray about it and let God lead me. Until then, I pray that he is safe and realizes that he has a very good life at Tumaini and comes back.

As much as I wanted to go back to the streets, I wasn't sure that I was called to do so. After some thought about how it would effect me, and Isaac, I sent this email to David:

I hope you are safely traveling back to Nairobi and that this note finds you doing well when you read it. I have been thinking about the comment you made about taking me to the streets to see Isaac. I would love that very much if you are willing to help me look for him. We fly back to the US on Dec 24th and our flight does not leave until 11:30pm, so I was thinking that if we get into Nairobi early enough, Kennedy can take us to meet you somewhere and we can look for him until it's time to go to the airport? Let me know your thoughts. I know it's Christmas Eve and if you'd rather spend it with your family, I can certainly understand that. I just miss him very much and think about him very often!

But it wasn't mean to be. David was spending time with his family and was not able to take us to find him. I've been in touch with a former employee of Heart for Africa through her blog and I think you should take a look at it here.

She and her husband Steve, have made it their mission to go out into the unsafe streets of Nairobi and rescue not just Isaac, but both Joseph's that ran from the home 3 weeks ago. God bless them!

The life these boys knew before being taken to Tumaini consisted of huffing glue to stay warm, make them forget they were hungry, and it was cheaper for them to buy. They knew stealing, beatings, running from law, and being a family for safety. You would think that being at a home where they are fed, clothed, bathed, and taught would be perfect for them. But ever since David Kariuki, once a street boy himself, left the home, these boys feel they have no one to turn to, no one to help them cope, no one to help them understand. My heart breaks for these children.

Lessons Learned

Our time here in Kenya is coming to a close and I have learned many things from these wonderful people. They are lessons that we American's should take note of and incorporate in our homes and with our families.

1. Always greet someone when they approach you
2. Take time to welcome a visitor in your home, even when they come unannounced, and serve them
3. A visitor is just that- a visitor. They are not to get things for themselves, you should serve them
4. On day 2, you are no longer a visitor and can share in the house chores
5. Always offer tea and something to eat to your visitors
6. Hug and love one another as if you were family
7. Put the needs of someone else in front of your own needs
8. Lend a helping hand if you are physically able to
9. Share what you have- bread, tea, sweeties, jacket
10. Most importantly, you may not have a lot, but love one another....always, and be proud of who you are.

I love these people and feel like I am part of them. I know they feel I am part of them too. Mum gave me the name Makenna last year when I was on this trip. It means "loving woman" and I surely have a lot of love to give them. I feel like I am part American and part Kenyan. Until I am back with them again, I will be loving them and thinking about them everyday.


Other lessons worth noting:

The Kenyan sun is very hot and I am allergic to my sunscreen. Putting sunscreen on my face and neck has caused hives on my face that have been there for 2 days. My face is fried because the sun is still hot and not having sunscreen on is not a good thing.

Showers will be freezing cold when the power goes out and the bathroom will get very dark.

When milking a cow, make sure you jab up before you pull down to get the milk.

Things here don't taste good, they are "so nice."

You will never meet a stranger.

Muzungu's are very interesting to Kenyan's, especially if they have never seen one.

Physical labor is the only work these people know.

Taking tea is a must, at least 2 times a day.

"So smart" means you look very pretty.

What's for Dinner

It seems like we eat a lot around here. Mum is constantly trying to feed us more and more so that we don't get "cold."

Today, they children arrived so we spent the morning preparing their "snacks." We had to roll out the pieces of dough into balls, then press them into small patties that were then fried.
These women are very strong. I witnessed Ann pull a metal spoon from grease that had been frying for at least 30 minutes.

She didn't panic or make a face or shake her hand because it was burned. She calmly pulled the spoon from the boiling grease and set it on the table. Impressive.

Mum made us a chocolate and banana cake.
Everything is very simple here- no recipe and no measuring.
The cake batter consisted of flour, 3 eggs, baking powder, cocoa, banana flavoring, and a handful of pure sugar. Short and sweet. It was delicious!

I served tea and bread outside today under the bright Kenyan sky. Peter, Mum, my dad and I enjoyed sitting in the sun, surrounded by the Abadare mountains taking tea and apple snacks.

For dinner, we were to have spaghetti noodles- plain, nothing on them or with them.

I told Mum that I could make a tomato sauce but she was not familiar so we walked down to the local stores to get them. There I met Mum's friend Gertrude. A beautiful lady with stunning eyes. We bought bread, tomatoes, carrots, onions, sweeties (candy for the children), sodas, and jam.

When we got home, Mum put an apron on me and I got to work. They loved every bit of it!
I was amazed because they had never had it before and never had heard of tomato sauce. To top it off, we each had a piece of Mum's cake.

Sights and Sounds of Kenya

Gonga - they are trying to get my dads attention. It means "grandfather" in Kikuyu

Take (insert drink or food name) - instead of eat or drink, they say, "would you like to take tea or bread..."

Auntie - they are referring to me

Muzungu - white person in Swahili

Smart - pretty

Kuja - means to eat in Kikuyu

Decker - is a bunk bed

A Shave - is a haircut

Top up - they want you to add more

The first day someone arrives, they are a visitor and are not to do anything but take tea and bread. If you have been there, like we have for a couple of days, we are expected to wait on that person.

If you cook dinner, everyone else does the dishes.

The power goes out more than once everyday and stays out for 2 hours at a time sometimes. Because we are in the mountains, it gets very cold at night- about 50 degrees and gets VERY dark. You are not able to see your hand in front of your face. There is no heat or air here. If you are going to shower, you must turn on the water heater, which runs off of electricity, so that you can have hot water. Last night, the power went off while I was in the shower. There went my hot water and all awareness of where anything was. Imagine, standing naked in a 50 degree bathroom, with ice cold water falling on you, you're not able to see the hand in front of your face, and you've just lathered your hair with shampoo. Good times... when I came out, I was breathing smoke and shivering because of the cold.

Life at Tumaini

Church Services

Happy Sunday! It's church day...

Did you walk 1.5 miles through the mountains on a muddy dirt road?


Was it the kind of roads that led you up and down the mountains in no direct route?


Was your church service full of brightly dressed locals, who sang freely at the top of their lungs, and danced around out of sheer praise.

Because mine sure was. All to praise God because he is good!

A Taste of Nairobi

Saturday, December 17^th

We safely got into Nairobi about 9:40pm after two 8+ hour flights. I must admit, two 8 hour flights are much better than a 14 hour flight and then a 5 hour flight. Kennedy {our driver} was at the airport, ready to take us to the Presbyterian Guest House. Father and I had to share a bed and last night’s sleep was minimal thanks to his snoring. I believe I got a total of one hour.

Kennedy showed up bright and early to take us shopping in the markets. Because we did not convert US Dollars to Shillings in the airport last night, that was the first stop on our itinerary. I trust him and don’t think he’d do anything to put my life in danger, but this morning was a bit on the unsafe side. He took me into the downtown Nairobi market where we walked through it to a place that sold fresh fruit. In the back corner of the booth, there was a small closet, only big enough for two people to stand in. Inside the closet was the man who was going to convert my money into shillings. I stepped into the closet with him, gave him $800 in return for 64,000 Shilling. He lifted up his left pant leg to reveal a sock bulging with a lot of money. Definitely a shady deal, but I made it out of there safely.

We went shopping in the supermarket where we purchased 50 bowls, 50 spoons, 50 cups, 3 knives, a sharpener, 2 large serving spoons, rice, flour, corn, cooking fat, maize and candy for the kiddos. In total, we spent roughly 30,000 Shilling. Kennedy was such a sport. After we packed our groceries in the already over packed car, daddy and I ordered a 12 inch ham and mushroom pizza- I liked it, he didn’t…imagine that. I ate 2 small slices and he ate 1, we took the rest with us for Kennedy to eat.

Finally we were off to Tumaini, but that doesn’t come without a stop to the Great Rift Valley. I bought some souvenirs and Kennedy bought us some roasted corn. Back in the car we went with even more stuff. It wasn’t shortly into our journey, about 20 miles from Naivasha that our back left tire went flat. We pulled over at a bridge so we could have more room to change it. This small car that we are in has not another square inch of space but in order to get to the spare tire, we had to unpack it on the side of the road. There was an old man standing right where we were changing the tire and his granddaughter. He watched very intently as daddy and Kennedy changed it. When it came time to repack the car, I grabbed the box of pizza and handed it to the man and his granddaughter. He replied with a huge smile and mazuri sana (Swahili for thank you very much). He’d never seen pizza before and scarfed it down. The little girl took here two pieces and ran down the hill to back to tending the flock. She kept looking back as she carried the box down the hill smiling at me. Such a blessing to be able to offer something like that to them.

Once we arrived at Tumaini, it was a much different feeling that I remembered it and reuniting with the children was nothing like the scenario that I played out in my head. As we pulled into the home, for the first time I saw it as a real life orphanage. Maybe it was the torrential rain that we’d been driving through that made the day look sad, made the driveway incredibly muddy, or maybe it was that there were no children running towards the car in anticipation of seeing Mora and Carl again. There was no one around…no one.

Cecilia {the house mum} came to greet us and it was a warm one. The children are not here. There are only 4 girls staying here. The rest went to be with family and will return on the 22^nd. Major letdown. Daddy is disappointed and I am sad and upset that this has happened. Now, instead of 8 full days with the children, we will only have 3. We are going to make due until they arrive living life here at Tumaini doing things to help like milk cows, chop wood, clean up the classrooms. Even though this trip hasn't gone perfectly since we left, we are making the most out of it.

The Night Before

Well, here it is finally. The night before our departure to Kenya, we {my dad and I} are headed back to Tumaini Children's Home. As you might imagine, I'm experiencing every emotion possible. Let's start with the panic I experienced this morning.

I've been in contact with Bishop David, the man in charge of Glory Outreach Assembly, since June when I first booked the tickets. Through our communications, we decided that he or his son would pick us up from the airport, take us to their house where we would spend the night, head to the market for some shopping the next morning and then make our way to Tumaini. That was the plan, short and sweet (was is key word there). About 2am, I started tossing and turning and wasn't sure why. Finally after getting out of bed, I realize that Bishop David had sent me an email. The time stamp on it was 2:15am.

Jordan,

My son Timothy have had to travel North Western Kenya to train young leaders who we call History Makers. The need for training there has been overwhelming so he was forced to extend his stay. I'm extremly exhaused after a series of trainings and minisrty opportunities that I have had in the last several weeks. If I regain my strength, I would still pick you up at the airport. If I continue feelng as weak as I'm now I may not be able to. So I have asked Pauline to be the back up plan. If I'm unable to come, Pauline will send you a driver by the name Hanniel Njeru. He will bring you to my house for accomodation. In the morning of Dec.17th, I know you would like to do shopping as you had indicated, before heading out to Tumaini. I'm extending an invitation to you if you would like to join us to Ruiru maximum prison where we will be sharing the Gospel, food and Christmas gifts with 450 prison inmates . If you joined us for this prison ministry, then you would leave for Tumaini after shopping and prison ministry to get there in the evening. If you choose to keep your original plans, then we shall leave our house together in the morning as we go for prison ministry and you go for shopping.

A question for you. If we had our friends in Atlanta sending you to bring Christmas gifts for the prison ministry, would you have room to bring them with you? What the prisoners needs are things like washing soap, tooth brushes, tooth pastes, tissue papers, coca colas and bread.

Regards,
Bishop David

So....as you can see, the plans have completely changed and that's why I was tossing and turning. If we didn't want to go to the prison, he offered, we would be dropped off in the market to shop by ourselves, just me and my dad...as white as can be. Mzungu's as they call us.

I scrambled. I didn't know what to do. I do not feel comfortable in a prison here in the US, much less in a foreign country. I sure as heck don't feel comfortable shopping in a market by ourselves. After 2 calls to Kenya and a short stint of panic to find a hotel, we thanked Bishop David for his help and services, but have changed our plans. Well, changed them back to the original plan.

As I sit here on my couch, with the air conditioner on {imagine that in the middle of December} I'm thinking about how excited I am to see the children. How antsy I am to hurry up and get there. How nervous I am because it's just my dad and I and I planned this all on my own. How much anxiety I have, because as I type this, we do not "officially" have a place to stay our first night in Nairobi. And I'm sad. I'm sad because I know leaving this time around will be even harder than it was the first time. Sometimes, I find myself letting that sadness set in and overtake the happiness that I'm supposed to feel first.

I don't know how I'll react when it comes time to come home. I know there will be tears, there will be smiles, there will be runny noses, and I definitely will leave even more of my heart there than I did the first time. I'm not going back to get the piece I left there, I'm going to give more of my heart to the children of Tumaini. I feel like they are my children.

By the Numbers...

To date we have:

7 generous, helping, god-fearing people who've helped us raise

$560 in the fundraising account,

4 small children working on decorating

91 gift bags,

23 pairs of funky colored socks that'll fit in perfectly in Africa,

40 paint by number booklets,

100 colors of faith necklaces ordered for a bible study,

3 spools of yarn to make "God's Eye's,"

40 wooden model tractor kits,

4 weeks left in our church "Sock Drive" project,

7 days until I see Carla in Tampa and stand in awe of the amount of work she's done to help us,

7.5 weeks until we are on our way to share your gifts with these children!

I cannot wait!

Not that I'm counting....

135 days until we {my dad and I} are back in Kenya

83 anxious children to give our love to

28 total hours of flying time

10 blissful days to spend there

3 plane rides from the US to Kenya

2 suitcases to load down with goodies

1 fundraising project to tackle

I'm excited that this trip will take us through London instead of Dubai. I always love seeing different places, even if it's from the safety of the airport. We will depart San Antonio on December 15th at 12:40 pm and arrive in Nairobi at 9:30pm on December 16th. I can hardly contain the excitement that I have! We will be returning Christmas day at 4:50pm and will be able to join our family for Christmas festivities.

I am not excited about flying American Airlines there, though. The are, by far, the WORST airline that I've ever traveled. Here's to hoping they are more accommodating, excited, and helpful on international flights than they are on domestic flights.

Wordless Wednesday

With Love,

the children of Tumaini

Love, heartfelt and true

Please be patient with me. I've got the children of Tumaini Children's Home on my mind...again!

I decided today would be the day that I pick up the journal I kept while I was in Africa and read what I experienced the first day we were at the home. I remember all of the feelings, emotions, thoughts, doubts, and questions that were going through my body as if it were yesterday. But, for today, I wanted to read exactly what I was thinking as I settled into my warm bed for the night. Below, you'll find the journal entry {I've included pictures so you know these children are real, not just characters in a blog}.

Coincidentally, the title of the Willow Tree Journal is "Love, heartfelt and true." Not by my doing, but as I realize now, there isn't a better name for what I've captured in it.

Wednesday, December 29th, 2010

A Day Through A Child's Eyes

What an absolutely gratifying day :o)

We spent it at Tumaini Children's Home. We set off at 8am for Tumaini. One hour and 45 minutes of bumping along the backroads of Kenya. The roads, like all of them around here, are filled with people standing on the sides of them. This trip was different in that many of the people were children , 2+ years old- just standing on the side of the road, doing nothing, herding cattle, playing, and always waving to us. That never gets old- a little child waving at you with the biggest smile on their face. We finally arrived at the home and stepped off the bus. I was nervous at first because I didn't know what to think. I've been told by others that you'll hardly see them smile and I didn't think they'd be very welcoming. There were about 80 kids waiting for us in the yard. 80 of them and 12 of us. We got out, started shaking hands and introducing ourselves. One of the first girls I met was Mary [sidenote: who I now sponsor!]. She was holding a baby named Hope. Mary, who was 16, said they didn't' know how old Hope was, probably a little over 1. That was my first slap in the face, my first realization that this was real. Mary took us to see the school rooms and dormitory for the boys and girls. We then received painting assignments and that was nothing short of chaos and a mess. The girls were to paint and the men went to dig pit latrines for the Sho Sho's. Those are the grandmothers caring for their grandchildren.

We were to paint the schoolrooms but before we started we needed a potty break. Lucy was the second girl we connected with. She too, was 16. She took us upstairs to the women's potty which was a cement hole in the ground. There was no toilet paper and the smell was terrible. I held my breath as I tried my best to aim in the hole. You know, when you pee outside there's no aiming involved, you just go...not in this potty. All of the children wanted to help us paint which was a huge mess. They watered down the paint to make it go further but it didn't really cover the walls. I think there was more paint on the kids and floor than on us- ha or the walls.

As we got close to lunch time, I took a time out and made paper planes with John, the cutest little boy. Faith also decorated my face with paint. They are both 4 and very loving. We ate lunch- sandwich, chips, chocolate, an orange that looked like a lime, a piece of chicken which I'm pretty sure was left over from last night's dinner, and a juice box. Overall, it was pretty good.

Right before I got lunch, the older girls were getting food for the evening ready. They were cutting up cabbage that they had picked fresh from the garden. They let me help and jokingly gave me a hard time about how slow I was, the size of the cabbage pieces, and that they weren't going to eat at the rate I was going. It was very fun. While we were in the bus after lunch, it started to rain and then hail. It got chilly but made everything look so pretty. It let up a little bit so I went and hung out on the porch waiting for the men to get back. There I met Melvin and James. Both teenagers.

We made a lot of small talk and Melvin {who did not live at the home, but with his family in Nairobi} went to get his phone so I could identify songs for them. Their favorite song right now is Vanessa Carlton- White Houses...wow! Of course they like Sean Paul too. James is a joker and Mevin, I could tell, was Mr. Cool Guy. I went with James inside the dining hall so they could eat. Both were wet so they went to change clothes while gave piggy back rides and showed off my watch. Everyone was fascinated with it. Wanted to know how much it costs, about the battery inside, and how I got the light bulb inside? because it lights up. I then talked more to James and Melvin. They were talking in their native tongue and started laughing. Apparently, Melvin told James that he loved me. I know it's a different kind of love, but still was powerful. He told me about his family- that he's the pillar, that his father is gone and that he wants to be able to take care of his mom. He has a lot of business sense. It was then time for Bible School. Kelly and I are in charge of the crafts. Today's craft was Moses in a basket with a blanket. We did Bible School from 1-4 and we were scheduled to leave at 4. I was talking to some of the boys and Isaac wiped his thumb over my eye makeup and tried to wipe it on his eyes. He wanted to know what it was on my eyes and why I wear it. We danced and snapped a few pictures.

The kids keep asking me if I was in a movie. I didn't know why but apparently I look like Mora from "Trouble over Paradise." Need to watch that one. I'm considering sponsoring a child. They've touched me in such a special way. So loving, so happy, they have nothing and couldn't be happier. It really puts things into perspective for me. It is selfish of me to want to be able to come back to Tumaini to see and spend time with sponsored children if Heart for Africa isn't involved anymore? I better think more about that.

Other thoughts:

- women playing basketball is a foreign idea to them

-watches are fascinating to them

-fruit basket toss up causes chaos

-15 people can paint a room in 20 minutes

-Kenyan's are very special people

-children running up to the road waving and smiling never gets old

Wordless Wednesday