Take 5

Help!! I've Fallin'...

...And I can't get up! Remember that quote? From the dorky kid, who aired every Friday night on TGIF, who was extremely clumsy, wore his pants a tad too high, wore over sized glasses, was in love with Laura Winslow, and that we all grew to love?

Good ol' Steve Urkle.

He and I share something in common...while it used to be the over sized glasses and pants height, currently it's the clumsiness.

You see, yesterday I decided that I felt good enough to try to retexture a bathroom wall. I was supposed to be laying down, not doing anything, healing. I took a step back to look at what I had done already (all 6 minutes I had been working) and tripped over the 5 gallon bucket of texture that was up against the tub. So as you might imagine, I fell backwards, and had no way to stop myself from falling. I preceded to hit my tailbone, yes the area I just had surgery on, directly on the side of the tub and fell into the tub.

Shower curtain came crashing down. I came crashing down. My hopes of getting better quickly came crashing down. I'll save the rest of the details for my own personal memory, but there was a lot of blood, swelling, bruising, and a small...errrr large panic attack. I've been out of pain medicine since Friday night, so I've had to live with pain as my punishment. I hurt more now than I did when I initially had the surgery. God sure does have a funny way of reminding me that I'm not 100% yet. Actually, I'm back to square one.

Wearing workout clothes...but can't work out

I'm in full blown recovery mode and have been this way since my surgery took place on Monday, April 11th. Recovery mode includes, pain medicines every 4 hours, daily visits from home health to change out packing and bandages, snoozing, drinking as much water as humanly possible, trying to eat as often as I can when I have no appetite, showering every other day, couch laying, book reading, and tv watching. IT'S DRIVING ME CRAZY!! I've had several visitors- my sister, aunts, grandma, parents, and as of today, a best friend- Tanya. I've got my workout clothes on, but am not even close to being cleared to workout- that won't come until June, I think. Thank God, my sister is having a baby shower on Saturday. We spend most of our days getting stuff together for that. (as much as I can while I'm laying on the couch on my tummy.) I'm looking forward to my follow-up appointment on the 19th. I'm praying good news comes from that visit. Until then, I'll be laying here in my workout clothes....taking pain medicines every 4 hours, waiting for home health to make their daily visit, snoozing, drinking as much water as humanly possible, trying to eat as often as I can when I have no appetite, showering every other day, couch laying, book reading, and tv watching.

Real Life Emotions

nervous- unnaturally or acutely uneasy or apprehensive; to become nervous under stress.

stress- a specific response by the body to a stimulus, as fear or pain, that disturbs or interferes with the normal physiological equilibrium of an organism.

fear- a distressing emotion aroused by impending danger, evil, pain, etc., whether the threat is real or imagined, the feeling or condition of being afraid

pain- physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc.

What do all of these words have in common other than they are all Real Life Emotions?

It's everything that I'm experiencing inside.

Today, I blocked out April 11th in my date book, and the 3 weeks that follow April 11th. April 11th will be surgery day, and the 3 weeks that follow will be the recovery time.

I will be having major surgery on my tailbone. It's something that I knew was going to have to be done, but I avoided it. Ignored it. Wished it away. Today, none of that was happening.

I find myself in an all too unfamiliar situation. I'm not good with surgery; I can comfort others going through it, but I'M NOT GOOD.

I'm nervous, scared, and stressed.